nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
this is an emotional support booty call
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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