But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
