69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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