now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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