i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
