Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
