Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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