it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize