before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
