I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
