she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
