you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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