Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize