pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
