Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
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