She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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