Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
