he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
