Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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