I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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