so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
