i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
