if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
