I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
