I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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