Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
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First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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