It's like a parade of train wrecks.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
