Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
