i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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