I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
