She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
