only you would photoshop your dick
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
