I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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