I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My life is pants optional.
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