I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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