I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
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she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
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He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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