Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
