I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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