My brain says no but my pants say off.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
