he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
