Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
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You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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