I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
