I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
