I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
