You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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