Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
