Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
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I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
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At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i out mim tonsoeep
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