the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
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We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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