I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
