I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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