We won't sleep together?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
