Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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