can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize