How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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