I think my vagina is haunted
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
