If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
