I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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