i just google imaged poop.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
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I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is