they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube