She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them