im about as happy as oj after his trial
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days