lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
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It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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