For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
