Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
