We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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